


Four Times Captain Jack Harkness Didn’t Do the Time Warp, and One Time He Did

by adafrog



Category: Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 22:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adafrog/pseuds/adafrog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story: Four Times Captain Jack Harkness Didn’t Do the Time Warp, and One Time He Did<br/>Author: Adafrog<br/>Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who<br/>Characters: Jack, 9th Doctor, 10th Doctor, Rose, some impliedJack/Doctor<br/>Rating: PG?<br/>Word Count: 1,163<br/>Warnings: Crack that popped into my head while I was listening to my cell phone ring-it’s the Time Warp. (From Rocky Horror Picture Show, if you don’t know)</p><p>Written in 2006.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times Captain Jack Harkness Didn’t Do the Time Warp, and One Time He Did

“Let’s do the time waaaaarp agaaaaaaainnnn….” The crowd sang, dancing along with the actors on the stage. 

Rose, Jack, and the Doctor stood in front of their seats, trying their best to follow, but mostly ended up just laughing at each other. As the song came back around to the chorus, the three started singing at the top of their lungs, just enjoying the ride. 

An hour later found them lying side by side in a park, still giggling. Rose wiggled closer to Jack, resting her head on his chest. “Wow, one of the first ever Rocky Horror shows. Hey, Mister Of-Course-I-Know-This,” she poked Jack, “you messed up. It’s ‘Time Warp,’ not ‘Do the Time Lord, Again.’ 

“Just wait,” Jack threw back. 

Her groans of disbelief drowned out the snicker coming from the Doctor lying quietly on the other side of Jack.

 

 

Several adventures later found them once again taking in a show. Only this time, it was the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Not having any toast in the TARDIS, Rose and Jack made do with getting giant boxes of popcorn, and throwing that whenever they got the chance. Which, to the Doctor’s consternation, was often, and usually at each other. 

Finally having had enough, the Doctor grabbed Jack’s box, and shushed them. “Hush, my favorite part’s coming up.”

Chucking a piece of popcorn directly at the Doctor’s nose-and receiving a corresponding high five from Jack-Rose questioned, “I thought you hated going to these.” 

The Doctor harrumphed, acting hurt. “I’ll have you know I enjoy this as much as the next time traveling alien.” He winked, then shushed them again. “It’s starting,” he paused dramatically, then crowed, “The Time Lord, Agaaaaaaaain!” 

Just then, Jack started singing about doing the Time Lord, and Rose rolled her eyes. “Great, now they’re both doing it,” she muttered. Then, as loud as she could, she began singing the Time Warp, and elbowing Jack each time he got it wrong. 

 

 

Several adventures, and many disappointments later, Jack once again found himself at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. This time accompanied by his teammates at Torchwood. While not quite sure how chasing after what turned out to be a non alien turned into team bonding at the theater, Jack figured he wouldn’t begrudge them this. Besides, the memories didn’t hurt as much as he thought they would.

He watched as the team threw themselves into it, throwing popcorn-since, again, there was no bread or rice to be had-every which way. 

Finally, the song started, and Jack found himself singing along to the familiar old words. “Let’s do the Time Looooooord Agaaaaaaain,” he’d yell, then snicker, laughing all the while. 

After the second time, Gwen elbowed him in the gut, then leaned over. “It’s Time Warp, Jack, not whatever you’re saying.” 

Jack just smirked.

 

A few years, and many aliens later, found Jack and the team still at Torchwood. In many ways, things had become routine, Owen, Gwen, and Jack often getting into trouble, and Tosh and Ianto providing support/getting them out of it. 

The past week, however, had been slower, and more routine than usual, which, of course, put Jack on edge. This night he had almost made the team stay late to look for something, anything that was going on, but decided that one more night of good sleep would be better for them. 

Jack was sitting at his desk, periodically checking his computer, when he suddenly felt a jolt of energy flow through him. Smiling, he slowly got up, and walked to the window. “Ah, now I get it,” he mumbled to himself. He smirked, and sat back down, quietly humming and singing. 

“Sir,” Ianto interrupted, walking in to place a cup of coffee on his desk. “Will you be needin’ anything else?” 

Jack regarded the young man quietly, then shook his head. “No, Ianto. I think I have everything I need. You go home now, you’re going to have a busy day tomorrow.” Smiling enigmatically, he looked back to the computer, not realizing he’d begun singing again.

“Yes sir,” Ianto replied, turning to leave. “Oh, and Jack,” he stopped, waiting for Jack’s full attention. “It’s Time Warp, not Time Lord.” Not waiting for an answer, he quickly retreated, already making lists, and sorting tasks he’d have to complete as the new head of Torchwood Cardiff.

 

A few hours later, Jack found himself standing on the lift, at ground level, watching an unfamiliar man walk out of a familiar blue box. He stood quietly, waiting to see if he would be detected; certainly not by the unknown female companion, who poked her head out briefly, but maybe, just maybe, by the handsome man in the brown suit. The new Doctor looked quite a bit different than the old one; somewhat slighter, more hair, less ears, a cockier walk. But the energy-Jack could feel it from where he stood-the energy was the same. 

Within just a few minutes Jack found himself face to face with the Doctor-a suddenly nervous and unsure Doctor. “I didn’t think you’d made it, Jack.”

So many times he’d thought of this scenario, finally meeting the Doctor again. Millions of variations on what he’d say, what he’d demand, what he’d do. None of them prepared him for the real thing. “Doctor,” he choked out, wrapping himself around the man he’d waited lifetimes for.

Squeezing the human in his arms, the Doctor reassured him, mumbling nonsense, and slowly rubbing his back. After a few minutes, the Doctor whispered, “it’ll be okay, Jack, we’ll figure it out.” 

Pulling back, Jack tried for a cheeky grin. “We always do, don’t we?”

Shaking his head, the Doctor threaded his arm through Jack’s, and started walking him toward the TARDIS. “Let’s go, then, things to do, places to see.”

Jack looked askance at the Doctor. “Isn’t there something here that you need to do? Fuel the TARDIS, capture a Slitheen-something?”

“Nope,” the Doctor breezily supplied, “got what we came for.”

Breaking out into the first honest smile he’d had since that fateful day, he once again started singing under his breath. He nodded at the new companion as she closed the TARDIS door behind him, then started to introduce himself.

“Jack,” the Doctor said, interrupting him. “Doesn’t that go, ‘Let’s Do the Time Lord again?” He winked.

Grinning playfully, Jack nodded thoughtfully. “True. However, I think first let’s Time Warp someplace else, then we can get back to the Time Lord-get to know him all over again.” He leered.

Laughing, the Doctor started flipping levers, and turning dials, starting the old girl towards their next adventure.


End file.
